WHO PAYS FOR WHAT
As a little girl you dream of the most amazing day of your life. You envision yourself wearing the white dress, you can see the decor and even smell the flowers as you walk down the aisle. It like a movie playing in your mind of how everything will flow that day... but stop the tape... who will pay for what? Below we explain the age old traditions of who pays for what when it comes to the wedding as well as a modern approach to give you a brief guideline of the options you have when it comes to this touchy subject.
The question as to who pays for the wedding will vary from culture to culture as different traditions and etiquette are respected on their wedding days. Also couples who have two different cultures coming together will have to take into consideration both cultures values and decide how to proceed in respecting both families.
The traditional approach to who pays for what
Traditionally the bride's family would pay for the wedding. Nowadays with the weddings being a very costly en devour this tradition is fading away. My advice for couples is to figure out their wedding budget (see previous post for tips on How to create a wedding budget) and delegate on a spreadsheet template who will pay for what.
What the bride's family traditionally pays for:
Reception costs, including food, music, decorations, rental fees and entertainment
Ceremony costs including rental fees and decorations
Flowers for the ceremony and reception
The bride’s wedding dress and accessories
Invitations, announcements, programs, and mailing costs
Favors
Photography
Transportation
What the groom's family traditionally pays for:
Reception costs, including food, music, decorations, rental fees and entertainment
Ceremony costs including rental fees and decorations
What the bride traditionally pays for:
The groom’s wedding ring
A wedding gift for the groom
Her hair, makeup and beauty treatments
Gifts for her attendants
Sometimes accommodation for any out-of-town bridesmaids
What the groom traditionally pays for:
The bride’s engagement ring and wedding ring
Marriage license
The honeymoon
A wedding gift for the bride
The bride’s bouquet
Gifts for his attendants
Corsages for the mothers and grandmothers
Boutonnières for men in the wedding party
Sometimes accommodation for any out-of-town groomsmen
Fee for the officiant
Modern wedding payment options
Splitting it three ways
In this scenario the bride's family, the groom's family and the bride and groom each pay for one-third of the wedding budget. This option is nice because it lessens the financial burden on the couple, however you have to give into the wishes of your parents on certain aspects since they are paying for a portion of the wedding.
Having a discussion with both sides of the family to establish what each party is comfortable with contributing is a great way to begin the planning your budget. Some will say they can contribute to paying for one aspect of the wedding only such as the limo, attire or decor. Having the parents pay for an aspect of the wedding is also a good way to go about this if you do not want family weighing in on your decision making. No matter who is paying for what it is very important to be on the same page with contributing parties. If everything is discussed in detail and established right at the begin of the wedding process you will avoid conflicts and start off on the right foot!